How To Make Authentic And Delicious Elf Cookies In Time For Christmas Eve!!


a cookie

a spoon

Scotch tape (capitalize Scottish things!)

And You!

Take a free sample cookie from Trader Joe’s. Take it home.

Beat the cookie with a spoon. Make crumbs.

Carefully pick up crumbs by squashing them skillfully into little elf rolls onto SCOTCH tape.

The dumb little elves say thank you!!


Ho Ho Ho…

santa wears Depends…

they TEAR down the chiminey

inside out, the dough falls out

lands on a fire


Smokey the bear invents fly by water drops in firefighting

it was Smokey’s house!

see, there IS A WAY to turn shit into gold

Merry Christmas 2014! Happy New Year! From our Tee Pee to your trailer home… Love. Intimacy. Pleasures. Like chocolate, you perv! Haha



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