Acting Lessons For New Hubbies

Act I

    I have had these evenings of anxiety. I am ‘keeping it real’- attempting to not be contrived.

     Bs.

     All actions are acting.

     ACTshhhunz are ACTinggg

     So its all an act?

     Shit.

Act II

     Omg. My wife just told me to take out the garbage. Yes.
Sweet! Guidance.

Act III

    Stop telling me what to do damn it. I have one mom.

    Why are you mad? I took the garbage OUT AND I AM DOING FINE.

Act IV

    I am sorry.

    What?

    What do you MEAN “No apology necessary because I always do THIS? DAMN IT, DO WHAT? Get mad. Get mad. YOU’RE MAKING ME MAD.

    “No, I am not”, you say.

     You talk too fast… I am going to (get some ear plugs) the kitchen.

      One AND two.

      She speaks.

      “—- — —– – — —- ”
      “—- – — — – —-. —
       —- — —– —? —- —
       —……..

     (Oh she does not even care if I am listening. Waaaa. Waaaa! Waaahaahaa… )

     (Sorry. That is… scarrry.)

Act V

    Oh yeah, I love my wife.
   She rocks. She is to me
   what a Navy SEALs gun is
   to Him… my baby is a
   sniper rifle. I like to hold her,
   use her, clean her and that
   battle cannon is right in bed
   with me.

            She is full of fire.
   Stupid me, I guess I
   shouldn’t drop her when
   she is

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hot.

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