Hi, y’all okra! I’m Red Fire Jimmy and was in the woods, driving my rig. I was sickened by all the beauty of Yosemite, Yellowstone, Spongeblob, and Jellystone National Forests, etcetera, etcetera. I got out of the cab and suited up. My cap is blue and my flamethrower backpack with 10 gal. fuel capacity is PURPLE and RED and I absolutely HATE, ABHOR, DETEST, VILLIFY, DENOUNCE AND BERATE TREES every day.
But this day was SPECIAL. I was going to burn down Smokey The Bear’s House and in-the-ground Christmas tree that is always lit… shhhh!
And its by Smokey The Bear’s Jacuzzi on his very expansive park-like treeloving-doo-hoo-hoo joyful property at his private estate in Beverly Hills, California 90210…
So I sneak in at night like the total dooley I am… and my pilot flame is hissin’ …
And then it hits me.
I told you.
Smokey the Bear hit me
He told me I am a brat.
And to love ice, not fire.