Whats pink and green and goes on toast? Earthquake! I said to my mother hello DAD and she slapped me. I fell backwards into a mudpuddle. We lived outside. My mom was a squirrel. She wasnt nuts. Dad was. He built a tree house. I’ll never forgive him. He made me sleep in the basement. I once found an apple. Behind a horse. Fuji!- you pervert! No youre not a pervert. Your an introvert. You keep you dirty secrets inside. Omigod. I sound like a rapper doing Robin Williams. I believe I can fly. On Coke. I did so much coke it broke Michael Jackson’s nose. Don’t pick on Michael? Oh c’mon. We’d be friends if he got high. But he went low, died, then he got high. In heaven. Or hell. Or Ramaddan. Or Peter Pan. What? That was next. Boring…
Peter Pan peanut butter… who eats Peter Pan’s famous peanut butter? Who put Peter Pan in charge? Peter PIPER the picker of pickle pecks? If Peter piper picked Peter Pan, maybe both Peters are the same man…. omigod. Don’t pick apart your sanwich just yet… Tinker Bell need to add some fairy dust. Oh! Now your sandwich is floating away….
….its going out the window. Stop! Too late. (In mid air you see Michael Jackson’s ghost. He says, “Hiiii…… you’re so stupid….”
You fall to your death and then rise. Then you get back up to Michael. Michael the Archangel. He’s standing holding a tween-world truely magical Michael epiphany puppet. Michael says, “Are you ready?” And hopefully you are, because there’s a great big sign saying THIS IS IT. And everything is king BLUE SAPPHIRE and beautiful. But that’s MY heaven. I’m just a writer. I see heaven as my favorite color. I’m just dyin’ to get there. Oh yeah. Heaven is so great some people say…
…what if there isn’t one? Have sex!!! Lots!!! Oh shit, then you made 5 more people asking the same question! No!!! You brought 5, 6, 11 more people into the world to possibly face God’s judgment. Well you better be a pretty good parent if you are going to add to the world and bonk and probably you should not listen to me. I don’t have kids.
NOW I AM GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I WAS HAVING MY HEART RACE WITH ARRYTHMIA.
“Be slow to speak, slow to be angry.”
James said, “No one can tame the tongue… it is a restless evil set on fire by hell”.